


love is not a victory march

by NobodyFromNowhere



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Dark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 19:46:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18300791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodyFromNowhere/pseuds/NobodyFromNowhere
Summary: ''you've got a new neighbor.''tyler nods.“j-o-s-h-u-a,” says joseph, listening to the chord of each letter.





	love is not a victory march

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [love is not a victory march](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/468464) by little asya. 



dried blood under the nails.

 

"tyler"

 

hands seem dirty and black.

 

"tyler"

 

he wants to bring his fingers to his mouth and taste it.

 

"tyler joseph"

 

reluctantly, the boy tears his eyes away from the palms of his hands folded on his knees and looks inquiringly at a man in a white robe sitting opposite in a bloody leather chair. Tyler tries to hide on an iron cold chair.

 

''why didn't you respond right away?'' asks the doctor, closely watching the expression of joseph.

 

''i forgot my name,'' tyler just shrugs.

 

the man looks down in his notebook and leads the pen over it. Tyler rolls his eyes.

 

if you try you can see your brain

 

''you've got a new neighbor.''

 

tyler nods.

 

“j-o-s-h-u-a,” draws Joseph, listening to the chord of each letter.

 

''can you tell me about him?'' the doctor again interrupts the thoughts of Tyler.

 

''a voice like a broken bottle of white wine. half liter. no liter. like a liter of white wine.''

 

''in a bottle?'' asks the psychiatrist.

 

''in a broken bottle,'' tyler corrects, folding his arms across his chest.

 

''in a broken bottle,'' repeats the doctor.

 

joseph shakes his head.

 

''in a liter broken bottle,'' he states.

 

the man in the white coat is silent, allowing tyler to continue. he is angry.

 

''this is the end of the sentence, i put a dot.''

 

''i can't see punctuation marks in words, Tyler.''

 

''it is a pity,'' irony permeates the air.

 

''what else?'' the doctor asks, continuing to leave notes in a notebook.

 

tyler thinks.

 

''eyes?''

 

''what they look like?''

 

''like songs of 'the kinks','' says Joseph, confirming his words with a nod.

 

man raises his eyebrows, but does not comment on this comparison.

 

''and hair?'' the doctor is interested.

 

''what's wrong with the hair?'' tyler frowns.

 

“they are ... blue,” the man replies, “you can come up with many comparisons.”

 

''eg?'' joseph smirks.

 

''like the sky in the pictures of van gogh.'' the doctor says with a smug smile. Tyler snorts and gets up from his chair:

 

''ordinary blue hair.''

 

''where are you going?'' asks the man, watching the guy leaving the room.

 

“i'm bored,” tyler replies, closing the door behind him.

 

"see you on group therapy on sunday," the psychiatrist shouts.

 

“sundays are my suicide days,” tyler whispers.

 

josh is sitting on the floor near the window and tapping his fingers on the windowsill. tyler sings some funny melody, dropping his head from the bed.

 

''your music?'' dun asks.

 

“just another attempt to make the voices stop,” tyler replies.

 

a guy with blue hair is watching.

 

''voices?''

 

tyler is not responding.

 

“you look normal, not like the others,” josh continues.

 

“you too,” tyler closes his eyes and says softly, “but these four walls declared us insane, joshua.”

 

the guy's name tastes like rose petal jam

 

tyler sits against the wall. josh's hair shines under the glitter of the moon. 

 

“is he fucking rapunzel?” joseph thinks, rolling his eyes.

 

its 6:66. josh begins to tremble and mumble in a dream. 

 

"you're dead, 'cause how could you sleep at a time like this," covering him with a blanket.

 

in the morning, joseph complains that he did not let him sleep, and Josh asks if he was talking in a dream.

 

tyler shrugs and calmly replies:

 

''you said that spiders crawled inside and made themselves a home.''

 

josh looks lost

 

like a burning match that was put in a glass of water

 

dun asks joseph to wake him up next time. tyler swears.

 

they lie on the floor, touching their shoulders when dun asks:

 

''what are you thinking now?''

 

“sometimes I feel cold,” tyler whispers, “even paralyzed.”

 

Josh turns on his side and observes.

 

“blood is on my tongue,” says joseph a minute later.

 

“i cut my lip,” says josh.

 

Tyler for the first time does not hear the melody in his words.

 

they sound like ... silence?

 

tyler steals a knife in the dining room and cuts out the words on his right wrist while Josh is in the psychiatrist's office. Tyler cuts out the word “a car,” then “a torch,” and then “a death.” tyler overdid it.

 

feels like a stream of blood running from the nose

 

joseph wakes up in a room with an already bandaged wrist. josh is lying next to him. uncomfortable. closely. hot.

 

''is that what inspires you?'' josh asks with painfully hoarse voice.

 

“death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit,” tyler grins.

 

dun does not laugh.

 

''will you talk about it with the doctor?''

 

''i'm my own shrink.''

 

“stop it,” josh hisses, annoyed.

 

''leave me alone.''

 

dun doesn't budge and tyler turns his face to the wall.

 

stubborn, like ... like ... fuck

 

 

“i understand,” says josh the next day.

 

tyler shakes his head:

 

''no one thinks like me, no one sees dreams when blinking.''

 

''what should I do?''

 

''go away.''

 

''you're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul.''

 

tyler's heart stops beating for just a second.

 

they don't speak all the next day. and the next one. and the next one.

tyler is cold.

josh looks at himself in the mirror all morning the next day, and the next one, and the next one, and tyler doesn’t hold back:

''i think you would beat the moon in a pretty contest''

dun freezes, hears a familiar voice, then smiles.

tyler gets warmer.

his smile feels like mulled wine

 

“let's go,” Ttyler says at night.

 

''and what will you do?'' smiles given.

 

''we'll make money selling your hair.''

 

''and what use from you?''

 

''i'll sing you pretty sounds.''

 

“i want to hear one of them right now,” josh whispers.

 

tyler stares at the ceiling, torturing his lower lip with his teeth.

 

''please, ty.''

 

and Tyler sings.

 

oh miss believer my pretty sleeper

your twisted mind is like snow on the road 

your shaking shoulders prove that it's colder 

inside your head than the winter of dead

 

josh listens as tyler sings.  
josh hears his voice when he pauses.  
josh listens to silence.  
Josh literally hears tyler's silence.

 

''the father says that it is a sin,'' whispers is given, ''it seems to me that I am already dead.''

 

''is it a sin if i can't help falling in love with you?''

 

''i am cold, can you hear?''

 

''so try to love me and I'll try to save you.''

 

dun covers tyler’s lips with his own.

 

josh tastes like chlorine

 

venom on my tongue

 

they stand on the threshold of the building with the backpacks in their shoulders. tyler closes his eyes, wincing from the sun. joseph don't know where to go.

 

“this place smells like a damp basement,” he says out loud.

 

''isn't it a poppy candle?'' squints josh.

 

tyler inhales the air deeper.

 

“maybe just a little bit,” joseph agrees.

 

dun laughs.

 

“you don't need to run, stay with me,” he says a little later, when they find themselves behind a high fence.

 

tyler carefully looks at the guy.

 

''it's time you pick your battle, and I promise you this is mine.''

 

tyler will go after him.

 

josh will not leave him.

 

this feeling sounds like love.

 

''what about my hair?''

 

''what's wrong with them?''

 

''what they look like?''

 

''red.''

 

''that's all?''

 

''that's all. ordinary red hair, joshua.''

**Author's Note:**

> author's notes:
> 
> these words taken from the songs: migraine; heavydirtysoul; the judge; message man; friend, please; the hype; cut my lip; kitchen sink; jear of hearts; air catcher; we don't believe what's on tv; oh ms believer; can't help falling in love; isle of flightless birds; lovely; chlorine; my blood.
> 
> total: 17
> 
> jesus christ i'm dying


End file.
